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The following contains MAJOR SPOILERS for the "Knight Of The Iguana" episode of NBC's "Knight Rider."

It's not that this show is bad, really. It's that it is so ... standard ... pedestrian ... predictable ... uninteresting that makes it hard to watch.

Don't get me wrong. I like the actors, the characters, the cars, the explosions, the skin ... lots and lots of skin. It is what they do with all this that bores me.

Here's a good example. The episode opens with a dark headquarters, with Michael looking for "the enemy," as KITT calls him. Michael pussyfoots around, looking for someone to shoot. Is it a double agent? Is it a bad guy with a nuclear warhead trying to destroy KITT? Is it an alien from outer space?

No, it turns out to be Billy with a Super Soaker. The worst thing that happens is that both Michael and Billy end up spraying water all over KITT's custom interior. Now that's entertainment! I know this was intended to be funny, but it comes off as a disappointment.

The bad news is, that was the highlight of the episode. The only good thing was that they didn't have KITT hanging ten on two surfboards saying, "Cowabunga, dude." (But I bet they considered it.)

Turns out a secret agent with a code name of "The Iguana" has disappeared. Michael needs to go to an international surfing mecca to find out what happened to him and a bunch of military stuff. Of course, they need someone who understands surfer culture and say "dude" a lot, but none of them can do that ... that is, until Zoe, who hasn't had much to do so far in the show, walks up to the screen and utters surfer talk. What a coincidence! She can go with Michael on the mission. How fortunate!

Of course, riding in a hot car with Michael makes Zoe hot, and she tells him that she'll behave unless Tequila is involved (get the bottle ready, prop man).

We see lots and lots of skin, surfboards, and drinking as Michael and Zoe investigate. While at a restaurant, the Tequila flows, of course, and Michael and Zoe do the nasty despite Michael's "aw, shucks" attitude toward sex with Zoe thus far. Right on cue, in comes Sarah (Michael's unrequited love) and Billy to catch the duo in bed. How unfortunate!

Michael's straight-laced buddy warns him about hanging around with evil guys, but that's Michael's mission, so he does.

Along the way, Michael sees pictures from his past on KITT. They get deleted before Michael can find out more, and no one knows where they came from or where they went.

KITT gets blasted into the ocean. How lucky it is that KITT can drive on sand, even underwater!

Michael gets beaten up by the bad guy and the surf. Sarah recruits Michael's buddy to help Michael, but it turns out the person who wants MIchael to stay on the straight and narrow is himself on the take. Who would have thought!

Just as the missiles are about to be given to the baddies, Michael intervenes. A missile is fired at the location that would do the most damage, which is the place where the show's writers hang out ... no, sorry, at a nuclear power plant.

Sarah brings KITT to the rescue, and KITT uses an EM pulse to reverse the course of the missile away from a nuclear power plant back to exact spot it was launched from. Talk about irony!

Just before he's blown to bits, the blonde baddie says he knew Michael back in the day in Iraq. Everyone knows about Michael's past ... except Michael. I bet they will keep teasing about that until the sweeps weeks ... if the show continues that long.

What Worked

It's a very good thing that almost everybody looks good without clothes on because we see nearly everyone in trunks or bikinis.

The makeup on the actors looked okay. And KITT looked good. And this week again, someone called some technology "cool." Oh, and I also watched this episode online so it only took 45 minutes instead of an hour. I like to consider the small victories in life.

What Didn't Work

I keep reading online how this program is popular with those who like to imbibe so they can play drinking games so they can get bombed when it does something expected. Hopefully the AA meetings are pretty crowded on Thursdays after this show airs.

Even on the Internet, there isn't enough space to recap everything that didn't work. Sigh. Curse you, television gods!

Giving Credit Where Credit Is Due

"Knight Of The Iguana" was written by Dave Andron and directed by Steve Shill. "Knight Rider" airs on NBC each Wednesday night at 8 p.m. Or you could save yourself time by watching it later on NBC.com like I did.

Feeling a little horrific? Get your daily dose of horror news straight from The Doll, Rabid Doll that is at www.RabidDoll.com.

Hear Michael Hinman on SyFy Radio every Wednesday at 10 p.m. ET/7 p.m. PT at www.BlogTalkRadio.com/SyFyRadio.