This review contains moderate spoilers.

Growing up, there was a wonderful series on television called "The Incredible Hulk." You all know what I'm talking about. Bill Bixby as Bruce Banner, Lou Ferrigno as the Hulkster himself. Being a very young boy, I was just fascinated by how Bixby could become so muscular and so green without ever having to hit the gym.

Last year, I was in San Francisco during some of the filming for "The Hulk," and while the computer-generated creature didn't show up, his stand-in Shrek did.

In all seriousness, I was excited about "The Hulk" for one reason, and one reason only -- the special effects looked strong. While some of my friends said, based on the film trailers, that he looked like an overgrown Shrek, but I thought he looked very comic book like, and that was important to me.

But come on, Ang Lee, let's not overdo it.

I've never been a big fan of split screening, especially multiple splits. So, when director Lee used it once when Bruce Banner (Eric Bana) was setting up his experiment, we were receiving multiple views of the action. But about the 10th time Lee used the split-screen style, I was about to throw up on the people in front of me.

And where the hell was the story? I never really read the Hulk comic books, but if the comic book story read anything like the movie tried to portray, I would've never bought the second issue.

So, let's get this straight. Bruce Banner's dad (Nick Nolte) was a bio-engineer who worked on a military base that happened to be run by Betty Ross' (Jennifer Connelly) father. Then, David Banner kills his wife by accident, gets sent to the looney bin for 30 years after blowing up his work, and Bruce gets adopted by another lady. This lady sends him to school where he becomes some sort of bio-engineer, just like dad. And out of some strange coincidence (since hey, San Francisco is a very small city), he ends up working with Betty Ross.

Even better, Daddy Banner is able to find Bruce with little effort, around the same time that Bruce just happens to get exposed to gamma radiation that jumpstarts the chemical in his genetic makeup that turns him into a super giant.

Did I leave anything out?

It was rough enough to have me sit there and have my disbelief suspended while trying to believe that this green created actually would exist. But then to have to believe a storyline that not even a soap opera would touch was way too much for me.

Nolte didn't do a bad job with his role, but at the point when he was trying to force his son to turn into the Hulk while being held prisoner on the military base was too obvious of an Oscar draw. It was way overreacted, and the emotion seemed to not mesh well with the rest of what was going on. Plus, if anyone has any idea what was going on between the father and son after daddy evolved, please let me know. I'm still confused.

While I didn't like the split screen, I did like how Lee took advantage of having a big special effects budget. My favorite seen was when Betty aimed her flashlight into some bushes, and standing there was the Hulk. He looked extremely real standing there, and you really felt like it could've been you holding the flashlight.

I also felt that the backstory itself of Banner having a mutation prior to his being exposed to gamma radiation worked a lot better than what it did in the original television series with Banner just being exposed, and that was that. However, I was so hoping that we would see the new Bruce Banner change a tire in the rain just once ...

I wasn't impressed overall, and I certainly wouldn't recommend the film to anyone, unless I didn't like them. Ronald D. Moore, take note of how poor the repeated use of split screen was in this film. I know you're interested in adding it to "Battlestar Galactica," and I hope that after you watch this film, you'll want to change your mind.

Writing: D
Story: F
Acting: C
Directing: B-

Overall: D+

Michael Hinman is the founder and news editor of Airlock Alpha. He is based in Tampa, Fla., and can be reached at michael@airlockalpha.com.

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