(Don't) Steal This Book Please
Emotional Resonance & Rocket Launchers with Scott Nance
Ever since Peter Jackson transformed what had been a cult classic into a full-blown movie phenomenon, the thinking in Hollywood seems to be: Dust off some similarly important-but lesser-known work and voila: you have an instant blockbuster.
Except Jackson, director of the hugely successful The Lord of The Rings films, has proven to be the exception rather than the rule.
Other attempts at literary appropriation have fared much less well. Take the movie adaptation of the late Isaac Asimov science-fiction classic, I, Robot. Please.
Asimov's novels have been touchstones of the science-fiction genre. Everyone, up to and including "Star Trek" creator Gene Roddenberry, was influenced by Asimov's depiction of robots and his three laws of robotics:
* Robots must never harm human beings or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
* Robots must follow instructions from humans without violating Rule 1.
* Robots must protect themselves without violating the other rules.
Pretty interesting stuff, huh? These laws could make for some compelling moral choices and drama, no?
Well, actually, no. Not in the hands of director Alex Proyas, who systematically beat down Asimov's complexity and genius so he could create yet one more high-tech action movie starring Will Smith.
How about Legends of Earthsea, the Sci-Fi Channel's recent, seemingly lush miniseries telling of Ursula K. Le Guin's masterpiece of a fantasy series.
I personally didn't think it was too awfully bad. But who am I to argue with Le Guin herself, who just went public with her disgust?
Sci-Fi Channel wrecked my books, she said. The books 'A Wizard of Earthsea' and 'The Tombs of Atuan,' which were published more than 30 years ago, are about two young people finding out what their power, their freedom and their responsibilities are," Le Guin was quoted as saying. I don't know what the film is about. It's full of scenes from the story, arranged differently, in an entirely different plot, so that they make no sense.
Of course, Le Guin can kvetch her way all the way to the bank, as they say. When she sold the producers of the miniseries the rights to her books, she knew the chances she was taking, so I can't feel too awfully bad for her.
The ones I'll save my sympathy for are the authors who are dead and aren't in an effective position to protest when some Hollywood hotshot comes through to take an artistic wrecking ball to their works.
Like the aforementioned Asimov, or the even more chronically deceased H.G. Wells.
Remember that it was a Hollywood heavy of a bygone age that first took Wells' War of the Worlds and really made something of it. The day before Halloween in 1938, cinematic maestro Orson Welles told the story of a Martian invasion of Earth so well, so effectively in a radio play that millions who tuned in thought they were listening to news reports of an actual event -- and were scared out of their minds.
Fast-forward more than 65 years. Two of the biggest heavy hitters present-day Hollywood could come up with -- Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise -- have joined forces to produce a movie version War of the Worlds. A trailer for the would-be blockbuster has hit the Net, and, folks, it ain't pretty.
All we see are shots of Earth cities going about their business, as a voiceover narrates, No one would've believed in the early years of the 21st century, that our world was being watched by intelligences greater than our own.
That as men busied themselves with their various concerns, they observed and studied with infinite complacency. Men went to and fro about the globe, confident of their empire over this world. Yet, across the gulf of space, intellects vast and cool and unsympathetic, regarded our planet with envious eyes. And slowly and surely, drew their plans against us.
Finally, at the end, a battle begins to brew.
But, in all of this, the star, Tom Cruise, ain't nowhere to be seen.
All the trailer does is set up the Earth for one big asswuppin'. I'm sure there will be huge explosions galore, death and mayhem. Can we say, Independence Day: The Next Generation?
Yeah, I knew you could. That's what this more than 100-year-old piece of literature has been reduced to: a summer popcorn blockbuster.
Please, Hollywood, show some respect for the dead.
A former entertainment journalist, Scott Nance is a member of the USS Chesapeake, an independent science-fiction and Star Trek club in the Washington, DC, area. He is a columnist for Airlock Alpha, and can be reached at scottnance@airlockalpha.com.
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